


Cherry Bomb

by emilyjade91



Series: We Are All Made of Stars [1]
Category: Baby-Sitters Club - All Media Types, Baby-Sitters Club - Ann M. Martin
Genre: High School, Mental Breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-17 09:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1383142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyjade91/pseuds/emilyjade91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are your own worst enemy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cherry Bomb

I lick my lips and wink before looking back down at my half empty glass of vodka. Stoneybrook Community College boys aren't that smart and fall for that every time I do it. Cokie Mason is holding her annual Halloween party and already it looks like a night I won't be remembering. I flick my hair over my shoulders and turn around. Claudia Kishi is practically on top of Alan Grey and his hands are god knows where. I stumble slightly as I try to walk towards the stairs. Everything is blurring and I'm starting to see three Pete Blacks.

"Stacey?" I heard Pete call. "Are you okay?"

I turned to him. I smiled, blinking slowly. "Of course."

/

I don't remember anything that happened after speaking to Pete Black. I woke up in Janine Kishi's room the next day, still dressed and with my mouth feeling like I had been licking a sock for hours. I rolled over, shoving my face further into the pillow. The door opened.

"Stace?"

I push my self to sit up. My head spins a little. Claudia is standing there in a black singlet and plaid pajama pants. Why I'm at Claudia Kishi's house? Claudia Kishi and I stopped talking in the ninth grade. "Why am I here?" I asked.

Claudia crossed her arms over. "Because Mary Anne and I found you as we were leaving. You were beside Cokie Mason's house, passed out." So that's why I barely remember anything. "We're lucky Erica was our driver and she took you back here with me."

I look down at the light blue sheets, embarrassed. "Thanks."

The door closed. "Stacey, what happened?" Claudia asked.

I looked up. "Obvious, I drank too much."

"Not just last night." Claudia stared at me. "Are you careful when you drink?"

"Yes, of course."

"Stacey... what happened to us?"

I shrugged. What did happen? The BSC basically fell apart in the first couple of weeks after we started the ninth grade. I made amends with my old cheerleader friends and tried out for the high school team. My old friends didn't quite like it, I guess. They thought it was all going to my head. The BSC fell apart, and everyone went their own way. Claudia and Mary Anne became really good friends and hung out with Erica Blumberg. Kristy and Abby hung out with the sport chicks, Jessi transferred to The School of American Ballet in New York, Dawn still lived in California, Mallory was still in boarding school and Logan was the SHS quarter back for the football team. "I don't know."

"Do you know how it felt?" Claudia asked. "Watching you become one of the most popular girls in Stoneybrook? Watching you become best friends with Sheila Macgregor? It hurt, a lot. I thought you and I were going to be best friends, especially after what happened, I thought our friendship would last high school, that we'd have classes together, we'd hang out in the library studying together, after school, weekends, parties, everything I thought high school was going to be. And then, one day you just stopped answering my calls."

I looked down in shame. Four years on and Claudia was still angry about the end of our friendship. Claudia would call when I was out, as I was never home, and leave a message with my mom. I called back a few times, but then I would forget. Or I wouldn't know what to say. "I know."

"Are you really happy, Stacey?" I stared at Claudia's bright purple nails. "Because you don't look it. You don't look like the Stacey McGill I grew up with."

"Why do people keep saying that?" Claudia sounded like my mom. Recently, all my mother would do was shake her head and go, "Oh, Stacey".

"Have you looked at yourself lately? Heard what people have been saying about you at school?" I nodded my head. I had heard everything everyone was saying. "Are you proud of the person who've you become Stacey? Because I'm not."

"I need to go home." I said, getting up, pulling my shoes on. "Bye." I ran down Claudia's stairs and out of her house. Claudia's words had started to hurt. I guess she was right. I was seventeen and already I had slept with eight different boys. Gossip was being past around behind my back, and people must have thought that I was stupid and wouldn't hear it. I felt a bit stupid walking around in a tight black mini-dress and heels in the middle of a Saturday. I passed neighbor kids played in their friends front yards. I missed being a kid. I quickly walked down my street and into my house. I was lucky mom wasn't home and probably at her store. I rushed up the stairs into my room. I looked around at the mess of clothes and junk everywhere. I look at my bed.

That was the one place I wanted to spend the rest of my life.

/

I spend all Monday morning avoiding people's eyes. I can hear whispers. I always hear whispers. I wonder if they know that I have no knowledge of the rest of Saturday night. I head towards the library instead of the cafeteria. I'm embarrassed, but I'm not willing to tell anyone. I head up to the back corner, hiding. I pull out the book we're reading in English.

"Can I join you?" I look up. Sweet, innocent Mary Anne Spier is standing there, with her arms crossed over her chest. I know Mary Anne isn't all that sweet. She's dating Cary Retlin and they aren't so sweet and innocent at parties. I wonder if Stuffy old Mr Spier knows that his daughter dates Stoneybrook's biggest stoner.

I shrug. "If you want." I say, closing my book.

Mary Anne sits down next to me and zips opens her backpack. "You need to eat." I look at her. She has an apple in her hand. "Stacey." She says in a voice that scarily reminds me of my mother.

I take it and take a bite. "Thanks."

"I know why your in here." She said. "I don't blame you. I wouldn't want the whole school talking about me either."

"The whole school?"

"I don't know if it's the whole school. But a lot of rumors are going around."

"It's not something that I'm not used to."

"Stacey... What happened?"

I close my eyes. Why do people keep asking me that? I don't know what happened. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. This behavior. You act like you don't care, but I know you do. Otherwise you wouldn't hide out in the back corner of the library. You wouldn't drink until you black out on the side of Cokie Mason's house. You wouldn't be this destructive! I can't sit back and watch anymore. I don't care what you think. I'm going to get you help, help you stop this!"

I open my eyes. I felt tears well up. I'm not going to cry. Not in front of Mary Anne. She'll probably start crying as well. Mary Anne crying over me will probably break my heart. "Don't. Please, just don't."

Her chin quivers. The look in her eye is sad. "Stacey. I won't ever stop. I hope you know that."

I stood up, bringing my bag up with me. "I know." I said, walking off as fast I could to the nearest girls' bathroom. I lock the stall and close the lid and sit down. Silent tears fall down. What am I doing? I'm pushing away the one person whose coming forward to help me from feeling like this. I really am an idiot sometimes. More than idiot, a dickhead.

"Can you believe it? She's such a slut."

"Biggest slut I've ever heard of. Two guys? At once?"

I look up at the sound of two girls gossiping. I wondered if they were talking about me. I couldn't tell, I don't remember what I did Saturday night. Two guys?

"Stacey McGill should be ashamed of herself. Having a threesome with Irv Hirsch and Michael Youngberry of all people. The two weirdos of our class!"

I felt faint. I had a threesome with Irv Hirsch and Michael Youngberry? Whoever this person was definitely had it wrong! I would never have anything to do with either of those boys! Irv Hirsch and Michael Youngberry! Irv Hirsch was cute, but he had the most fucked up out look on life, he scared people off. Michael Youngberry was just as fucked up and that was a reason of why they got a long. A threesome! I would never ever have a threesome!

"You never know with her. Did you know she used to date Sam Thomas when we were in middle school? And he was a sophomore?"

"What are you kidding me? She would've been like 12!"

"She was! It was so gross, but he was pretty cute."

"Isn't that Kristy Thomas' brother?"

"Yeah. He's a total babe, seriously."

"Isn't she a dyke?"

"Nah, she and Logan Bruno are always down each others throats. Ah, we better go! I don't want to be late. I don't want another detention from Harbottle."

The two girls left. I was stuck. I couldn't move. People actually thought that I'd have a threesome? More tears fell down onto my cheeks. I was so embarrassed that I didn't want to move until after school finished.

/

I looked at myself in the mirror. I tugged slightly at my bright red, sparkly mini-dress. I felt good. Maybe it was from the bottle of vodka I sipped from all afternoon while I got ready. I covered up the harsh, dark circles underneath my eyes. I put on a good, body hugging dress that I knew would drive boys crazy. I put on six inch heels that had a bondage theme to them. I brushed my hair, making sure it sat perfect. I wore my favorite perfume. On the outside, I looked great. On the inside, I felt like I was having a total nightmare. Austin Bentley was having a party. Apparently his parents were gone for the weekend and he felt for a need for a piss up. I felt like I had to prove to everyone that I wasn't a total, threesome-having-with-weirdos-slut. I had seen Mary Anne in the hallways several times since the library. She looked harassed and quite, not hanging around with anyone but Claudia and Cary. I wondered if she was going tonight. I felt a huge headache coming on, probably just from thinking too much so I shoved a bottle of pain medication in my tiny handbag along with a flask of vodka. I took one last look at myself. I felt a surge of rage build up in me.

I hated myself.

I picked up the nearest thing to me which happened to be a stapler and threw it at the mirror. I turned and left. Austin didn't live to far from mine, so it was a quick walk. I heard music and voices in no time. I hated everyone here. They all talked behind my back all week. People tripped me over. Threw paper balls at the back of my head in class. And then out of nowhere yesterday, someone started the rumour that Shelia Macgregor was pregnant to a Stoneybrook Day Student who was two years younger than her. I wondered if Mary Anne or Claudia had something to do with it. I walked up the front stairs, I instantly felt eyes upon me. I felt like giving them my middle finger in an attempt to shut them up. I found a spot in the small walk way between the living room and dining room to stand in. I pulled the bottle out and shook out a few pills. I then washed them down with the vodka. I had a rotten headache. It needed to go away if I wanted to have a good time.

"She was right."

I turned around. Cary Retlin was standing there with two red cups. "What?" I sneered at him.

"I said, she was right. Mary Anne said she expected you to turn up."

"Isn't she just a seer then."

"She's worried about you. Really worried. More worried than she's letting on and now I'm starting to get worried about her. She hasn't slept all week. She's defended you at any chance. I started that stupid rumor about Shelia Macgregor to get everyone off your back."

"I never asked anyone to do anything. I don't need anyone to defend me."

Cary's jaw clenched. "The way your going, yes you do. And you need a big fucking kick back to reality."

"Oh yeah, you're one to talk. You smoke enough dope to sink the Titanic."

"At least I haven't turned into a pill popper. What is going to be next? Meth? E? Ice?"

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. I don't have to hear this." I turned and left. My headache had gotten worse. I popped a few more pills. I felt a bit light, maybe they were starting to kick in. Good. I had a good swig of the flask. I popped a few more. Another swig. I stumbled slightly. Everything blurred slightly as I walked towards the stairs. I wondered who was upstairs. I grabbed the banister, my hand slipped slightly, I really needed to sit down. My legs felt heavy. As soon as I got to the top, I took the edge of the pill bottle and just put the rest of them in my mouth. I washed them all down with the rest of the vodka. I leaned against the wall. Everything spun. My head rolled around my head.

"STACEY!"

I opened my eyes. Everything spun. Everything was blurry. "Wha...whaa?" I couldn't talk. Somehow, I was lying down on the ground. I tried to wipe away the drool on the edge of my mouth but I couldn't move my arm. "What's goin..goin..goin"

I felt someone pulling me into their arms, lifting me off the ground.

"Someone needs to call the paramedics!" Mary Anne was here. Sweet, innocent Mary Anne. I started to cry. It was so hard to keep my eyes open. "Don't you dare close your eyes, Anastasia McGill!" I felt a cold wooden surface. It made me feel colder than I already was.

"Stacey, come on." Cary Retlin was there. "What the fuck are you doing to yourself!"

I heard Mary Anne crying. "Please, Please." She kept saying as she clutched my hand.

"She's got really shallow, light breathing. I don't know what to do. Did anyone call the paramedics?"

"I did!" Claudia's voice. My old best friend. I wished I had never given up our friendship. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. "My god."

I closed my eyes, everything went black.

/

I felt like shit. My throat burned. My stomach felt I had spent a week vomiting. My head throbbed. I opened my eyes. I was in a hospital. I looked down to my left. Mary Anne had her head on the bed and she was holding my hand. I never had felt so relieved to see Mary Anne in my life. I swallowed, coughing as my throat felt like it had knives down it.

Mary Anne's head lifted up. "Oh my god! Your awake!" She said, grasping my hand tighter. "I thought they lost you."

"What happened?" I asked, my voice sounded like I hadn't used it in a while. "What day is it?"

"It's Monday." So it was only two days later. "The 15th." No, nine days later. Why had I been asleep so long? "They had to restart your heart at the Bentley's house before they could transport you. And then again, here, and then they pumped your stomach. And then you've slept since then."

"Where's my mom?"

"She's at home. She went home this morning to have a shower and a quick nap. We didn't know when you'd wake up." She sniffed. "I...I'm so glad your awake." Tears formed in her eyes.

I felt tears in my eyes. I sniffed, trying to keep them in. "So am I. I'm so so so so so sorry. I didn't mean for anything to happen. I was just so angry and I just wanted to escape." I looked around. There were flowers everywhere. I noticed a huge bunch, an arrangement that bright, colourful and it reminded me instantly of Claudia. "I have something to tell you. That stupid rumour of you and the threesome?" I nodded. "It isn't true. Irv Hirsch came forward on Monday and told everyone that he didn't have a threesome with you. You didn't even have sex with anyone. Apparently he and Michael Youngberry are together and they were, you know, going into a room together when they found you puking your guts up in a vase. They don't know what happened with you after but." I sobbed hard. That stupid rumour was just a big fabricated lie. It felt so good knowing that I wasn't a slut that had threesomes. "And Shelia Macgregor is pregnant. And you'll never guess who to."

I wiped my eyes. "Who?"

"Kyle Taylor. Bart Taylor's younger brother." Mary Anne had a smug smile on her face.

I looked at her. "Are you kidding me?"

Mary Anne shook her head. "Nope. Cary and I walked in on them a couple of months ago. We just guessed, that's why we never said a name and it just turned out to be true!" I coughed. My throat was killing me. "I'll go and get you a doctor."

/

I was released four days later. I had another two weeks off school. I had six months of psychotherapy sessions. I had a mountain pile of homework and assignments that Mary Anne and Cary had dropped off. They visited everyday. Cary apologized. I apologized.

"Can I come in?" I turned around. It was Claudia.

"Of course." I said. I had finally gotten around to cleaning up my room after finishing all my homework. I was due to return to school the following Monday.

"You look good."

I shrugged. "I'm okay, I guess."

Claudia sat down on my bed. She absentmindedly started folding the pile of clothes on the end of my bed. "We need to talk."

"I know."

"I'm glad your okay Stacey. I really am. And I'm here for you, not matter what."

"I know." I played with the coat hanger in my hands. "You know, none of my suppose friends have come to visit me. Called me. And I've kind of realized that they're not my friends." I said. "I'm sorry. For everything. For ditching you for Shelia Macgregor and those girls and I know it's too late, I know, but-"

"I'm willing to give it a second go, if you are." She said, literally taking the last bit of my sentence out of my mouth.

"I was just going to say those exact words!"

Claudia smiled. "I know. I'm a bit of a mind reader, you know!"

I laughed. I stuck my hand out. "Friends?"

Claudia looked at my hand. She shook it. "Of course."


End file.
